Ding, Dong, [Your Name Here] Is Dead

From the Springwise retail trends newsletter comes our latest Sign of the Apocalypse: Requiem for You, an Austrian company that will compose your personal requiem on demand, to the tune of 20,000 Euros and up:

Just launched last year, Requiem for You offers services on three levels, the most basic of which is the composition of an individually tailored requiem. The firm represents a network of composers, librettists and musicians who will write an individual requiem in advance, capturing the client’s unique personality and accommodating preferences for balance among vocal, instrumental and textual components. Styles available include baroque, classical, romantic, jazz or Broadway musical, with text in German, Latin or English. A personal laudatio is also available.

In addition to composing the piece, Requiem for You can also produce an audio recording of it using a team of freelance artists, orchestras and recording studios, once again honouring the client’s personal tastes in the CD’s cover art. Finally, upon request the company can arrange a performance of the requiem, using anything from an audio presentation of the recorded version to a live performance with orchestra and choir. Prices reportedly range from EUR 20,000 for the requiem’s composition to EUR 400,000 for the all-out live performance.

As vanity projects go, it’s more space-efficient than building gold statues of yourself, but for that price tag, I’d want a wider range of musical choices. Death metal? Hip-hop? For sheer memorability, there’s nothing like a nursery rhyme. Personally, when it’s my time to go, I hope my heirs hire Weird Al.

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